Three Thoughts on Things
1. I've somehow tired of the word crap. I read it today and it looked crass and boring. I didn't like it. Seemed a bit of epiphany, it did.
2. A friend went to a pig roast the other day. She reports that the pig's guts are removed and replaced with pork products like sausage which cook inside the pig's body cavity. I like this idea. Pig-stuffed pig seems like quite the food-stuff. Can we try this with other stuffed animals? My Thanksgiving turkey would make me infinitely happier were I to sit down to Turkey with mashed potatoes and bacon stuffing. And I imagine the turkey itself would be much more succulent and juicy with innards full of bacon fat. I've found that people are even more congenial when stuffed with pig products. Fill a man with bacon, pork chops, and sausage and he will sit contentedly with a silly little smile on his face for hours.
3. I was told a dirty joke yesterday by a highschool girl at work. I felt more uncomfortable than I have in a long time. Please, if you are a highschool girl, eschew dirty jokes. You are only tarnishing your own reputation and making everyone around you uncomfortable.
4. I lied, I have another thought. My car was saved from a major pummelling at the hands of a fallen tree branch by a span of 2 feet during the night. While my mechanic has put some work into my car and installed a stereo for me and is about to put in a new headliner, what I think I really want is a force-field generator. It would make that extra bit of insurance against flooding, lighting strikes, fire, and all that nonsense much more redundant. Also, I wonder if I could ask Q to install some rocket launchers...
2. A friend went to a pig roast the other day. She reports that the pig's guts are removed and replaced with pork products like sausage which cook inside the pig's body cavity. I like this idea. Pig-stuffed pig seems like quite the food-stuff. Can we try this with other stuffed animals? My Thanksgiving turkey would make me infinitely happier were I to sit down to Turkey with mashed potatoes and bacon stuffing. And I imagine the turkey itself would be much more succulent and juicy with innards full of bacon fat. I've found that people are even more congenial when stuffed with pig products. Fill a man with bacon, pork chops, and sausage and he will sit contentedly with a silly little smile on his face for hours.
3. I was told a dirty joke yesterday by a highschool girl at work. I felt more uncomfortable than I have in a long time. Please, if you are a highschool girl, eschew dirty jokes. You are only tarnishing your own reputation and making everyone around you uncomfortable.
4. I lied, I have another thought. My car was saved from a major pummelling at the hands of a fallen tree branch by a span of 2 feet during the night. While my mechanic has put some work into my car and installed a stereo for me and is about to put in a new headliner, what I think I really want is a force-field generator. It would make that extra bit of insurance against flooding, lighting strikes, fire, and all that nonsense much more redundant. Also, I wonder if I could ask Q to install some rocket launchers...
posted by Sam at 3:16 PM
2 Comments:
Perhaps we shouldn't only stuff everything in pork products, but wrap everything in pork products as well.
Because we all know that wrapping something in bacon makes it better (well, not wounds and the like, I mean foodstuffs).
You couldn't be more right --- crap --- what a crass word. For that matter, so is the word poop. People who use those words must be entirely uneducated.
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