Pork Products, By-Products, and Bi-By-Products

Ok, so Walmart was out of our usual toilet paper brand, and out of the other cheap alternative. A discouraging discovery, to be sure. Discouraging mostly because it was my turn to purchase said toilet tissue. I ended up having to buy an expensive, cottony-soft, quilted, made-of-angel-wings toilet paper. It cost roughly eighteen billion dollars, and as I purchased the package of 24 rolls, I commented on how much sheer enjoyment and exquisite bliss I expected out of such overpriced hygiene supplies. These comments elicited a laugh out of our cashier which is ultimately the goal whenever we go grocery shopping. We aim to make complete strangers laugh and come home with a trunk full of delicious comestibles.

The point that I am roundaboutly making my way to is that upon use, thi new toilet paper is all I had hoped for and more. I don't think my posterior would find much more happiness if I tried using a duvet instead. It truly does feel like someone out there is harvesting angel wings for me to flush down the commode, and I truly appreciate it.

I just thought you all might like to know.